The Second Coming of Severus Snape
by WordsConsumeHer
Summary: The Hall of Heroes meant to stand as a monument to those who perished in the war, but really, who thought it was a good idea to put corpses on display? Especially when any young Wizard can come in and defile them, and any ghost can watch. NC-17


bWarnings:/b Crack, implied necrophilia, slight dub-con

bSummary:/b The Hall of Heroes meant to stand as a monument to those who perished in the war, but really, who thought it was a good idea to put corpses on display? Especially when any young Wizard can come in and defile them, and any ghost can watch.

bA/N:/b Thank you ever so much to my beautiful betas. To Selkie, who fought through the schmooplessness to deliver a lovely scour (and a cracking good title); gingertart50 for ensuring the English was, well, "English"; and lovetoseverus who lovingly reminded me that I can always do better than I think.

oOoOoOo

The problem with really big wars is they inevitably lead to the accumulation of a fair number of corpses. The Battle of Hogwarts was no exception, and the fighters who stood in the rubble after the last curse had been thrown looked about and thought to themselves, "Well, fuck, now what do we do?"

The Death Eaters who had failed to prevent their demise were treated with more respect than they probably deserved. Their bodies were sent home to be entombed in whatever Pureblood cemetery or fancy mausoleum their ancestors had been buried in for centuries. It seemed that even the most atrocious of war criminals were buried with dignity, when most people would have preferred to see them all dumped into one communal grave.

Or ground up and fed to Fluffy.

Or made into Acromantula Chow.

Whichever.

Supporters of the Light had been outraged that the bodies of their enemies were treated with such respect, and in a show of blatant one-upmanship, had insisted that their fallen warriors were laid to rest in a monument of gaudy glory.

Thus, the Hall of Heroes was born.

Underneath the great castle of Hogwarts was a beautiful, golden marble memorial Hall lined with thick pillars and ornate golden sconces. The path down the middle of the Hall was flanked on either side by the bodies of the fallen heroes, where each witch or wizard stood proudly upright, cleaned and garbed in worthy attire.

Their bodies were repaired (as much as magically possible) and then held under stasis charms to prevent them from falling into further ruin, because "The Hall of Decomposing Heroes" just didn't sound like it would attract many guests. Silvery curtains of protective wards shimmered over the heroes as they lined the garishly ornate chamber where all of Wizardkind (at least those who could pass through Hogwarts' newly reinforced wards) could come and pay their respects.

The thing is, a hallway lined with a few dozen dead people is, at best, macabre. At worst, it's the stuff of nightmares.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before the Hall became devoid of any living visitors.

The dead, however, thought it was a lovely place to play.

oOoOoOo

The thing about death, and the state of being dead, is that it could get rather boring, especially when tied to your body the way Severus Snape was. Try as he might, he was unable to float more than twenty metres from where his body stood stiffly at the front of the exhibit.

The other ghosts did not seem to have the same problem, and were free to wander away at will. Day after day, Snape glowered as his companions left the hallowed Hall to go haunting while he was stuck staring at his own sallow skin, sunken eyes and unattractively large nose.

He would have given damned near anything to escape the unpleasantness that was his own face. In fact, he was fairly certain that his hideous countenance was probably half the reason the Hall of Heroes was so often bereft of visitors.

Snape was on his four-hundred and seventy-second patrol of the hallway when he noticed a single, living person standing in the memorial for the first time in – well, ghosts didn't have timepieces, did they? And it's kind of hard to tell when day becomes night when you're stuck underground. Combine that with the fact that you stop caring about petty things like "time" and Snape had to admit he hadn't the foggiest how long it had been since a living, breathing person had stood in this hideous tomb.

He certainly couldn't remember the last time someone had stood in _that_ place, in front of _his_ body, and looked anything but repulsed, which this man most certainly did not.

Gliding as quickly as his non-existent legs could carry him, Snape sped down the Hall to stare at the handsome young man who was staring at his body so raptly. Frowning, he circled the youth a few times to try and get his bearings.

The visitor seemed incredibly familiar, but not. Certainly there was no way Snape could forget a face like _that._ Two days' growth shaded the strong jaw, which was home to two full lips and a not-over pronounced Cupid's bow. He had strong cheekbones, which flanked a beautiful, straight and well-proportioned nose.

What Snape would have given for a nose like that.

He was so distracted by the structural beauty of that olfactory organ that he nearly failed to notice the pair of sparkling green eyes that sat above and to either side of it. But he certainly did _not_ fail to notice the faint, lightning-shaped scar that graced the smooth flesh of the man's forehead.

Merlin's balls, was that Harry Potter?

Doing another quick swoop around the boy, and noticing the look of confusion and dismay that often graced the Potter boy's face during Potions, Snape could ascertain that The Boy Who Lived did, in fact, live.

Now to figure out why he was here, staring so pointedly at Snape's own lifeless body.

The strange slurping noise of an incorporeal being sliding through the marble wall alerted Snape to the fact that he was not alone. Spinning around, he found himself face-to-face with the disembodied spirit of one Remus Lupin.

"Merlin, is that Harry?" the late werewolf asked with a combination of awe and excitement. "What's he doing here? I thought he'd never come visit me!"

Snape sneered derisively. "Really, Lupin, your company was hardly bearable whilst you were alive, what makes you think you'd have any appeal in your current expired form?"

"Well, I suppose you're right. Besides, it doesn't seem to be _me_ he's interested in at all, does it?" Remus chuckled softly.

Sure enough, Potter was still standing in front of Snape's body, his fingers outstretched as if to stroke the shimmering wards.

"What the devil does he think he's doing?" Snape gasped.

"Looks like he may be trying to touch you."

"Well I suppose I should be eternally grateful that those wards are impenetr-"

The silvery light that was once wrapped around Snape's body disappeared with no more than a whisper and a flick of the wrist from Harry.

"Well, fuck."

With another hearty chuckle, Remus punched Snape gently on the arm and mumbled something about hoping the Potions professor didn't crumble to pieces and mess up the shiny floor.

After a silencing glare from Snape, both men resumed their quiet observation of the Saviour of the Wizarding World, who was now making as if to stroke Snape's bloodless cheek.

As the young man's fingers grazed the corpse's cheek, Snape felt the touch on his own ghostly self. Recoiling in horror, he raised his hand to touch his still incorporeal face.

"Dear Merlin!" Remus exclaimed in delight. "Can you feel that, Snape?"

Snapping his hand away from his cheek, Snape scowled, "Of course not, Wolf, don't be ridiculous. I'm dead, I am no longer connected to my nerve endin- OH!" A shudder ran through him as he felt fingers slide from his cheek to trace the closed wounds on his neck.

Remus smirked. "Nope, can't feel a thing, can you?"

The two ghosts watched, one in horror and one in blatant amusement, as Harry continued his perverted ministrations on the corpse of his late teacher. Harry's hands slowly began to unbutton the myriad fastenings on the black robes, exposing a smooth expanse of white flesh and lithe muscles that looked firm and toned even in death.

Snape gasped as Harry leaned forward to latch a mouth onto his body's nipple, swirling his tongue over the raised flesh reverently.

A _pop_ over his shoulder was the only thing that distracted him from that wicked tongue, as Snape turned to see Remus hovering in the background, wrist-deep in a red and white striped container of popcorn.

"Please tell me you did _not_ just conjure popcorn."

"Oh yes!" Remus smiled, munching away happily. "The kind with extra butter. Can't get fat now that you're dead, you know, may as well take advantage of it."

"It's a wonder you never weighed thirty stone, you feral cur. I don't doubt you found gastronomic delights at the bottom of every rubbish bin in the United Kingdom. Now, would you kindly put that away and assist me in preventing this blatant act of necrophilia?"

"It's so hot, though..."

"Oooo! Do I smell popcorn?" came the distinctive voice of one of the Weasley twins (Fred, Snape thought, although he could never really remember which one of them was dead and which was still spreading mischief all over the Wizarding world).

Another soft _pop _and the red-headed menace now held a second box of popcorn and a bag of Jelly Babies. "So, what are we watching?" he asked, apparently having failed to notice Harry, who seemed to be seriously considering undoing the fastenings on Snape's trousers.

Remus casually waved his hand towards the only living person in the Hall. "Harry's about to snog Snape's corpse here, and it seems our dear friend can feel everything that's happening to his body," Remus supplied, helpfully.

"Brilliant!" exclaimed Fred, settling himself onto a sofa that had magically appeared out of nowhere. "I'm getting hard just thinking about it."

"Weasley!" Snape snapped. "That's quite enough! Stop gawking and help me get the dumb lout off of my corpse. He's taken the wards down, who knows how long it will be before I start to – putrefy."

Fred laughed and stuffed his face with a mouthful of Jelly Babies. "Well," he said around the sticky mouthful, "I think the one who really needs to worry about that is in the process of making acquaintance with your John Thomas."

Sure enough, Potter had undone the fastenings on Snape's trousers and slid them down the man's thighs, revealing a beautifully pale, long prick set against a hairless belly.

"Good lord, Sev, you shave? I never would have thought it!"

"Weasley, I'm warning you for the final time – ARRGGHH!" His ghostly form bucked violently as he felt fingers wrap around his cock and begin stroking it firmly. All three ghosts stared in fascination as the corpse's cock in Harry's hand grew erect.

Remus shook his head in bewilderment, sending a spray of popcorn tumbling across the floor. "How is that even possible?" he breathed. "Your cock can't fill with blood unless-"

"Unless my heart was pumping," Snape finished for him. The three men shared a look of confusion and watched on in morbid curiosity.

Harry seemed to be the only man in the room who wasn't surprised or unsettled by the biologically-impossible erection. Instead, he looked at it hungrily, licking his lips in excitement as the thick cock strained into his pumping hand. Pressing his body up against Snape's, he slowly ground his own obvious arousal into the dead man's thigh.

"Merlin, I wish he'd look at me like that," Remus said, rubbing his crotch slowly.

"Go fuck yourself, Lupin." Snape grumbled, trying desperately to keep the near-orgasmic husk out of his voice.

"Might have to if he keeps that up. How'd I never notice that boy before? Look at the arse on him," he breathed, then proceeded to let out a low whistle.

Fred squirmed uncomfortably in his seat on the conjured couch and started to rub his own prick. "Well, Remus, if you're in, I could go for a quickie. Can ghosts shag?"

A throaty scream from Snape interrupted the reply Remus would have uttered, as Harry's mouth wrapped around Snape's body's infeasible stiffy. With a cry of surprise, his ghost-self was flipped onto his belly. He felt his spirit being dragged back towards his corpse as if the hot mouth was somehow sucking him back into his body.

Remus and Fred watched in alarm as their companion drifted across the Hall floor, his long fingers scrabbling futilely at the smooth, marble surface.

"What's happening?" Snape cried, trying in vain to dig his toes into the stone floor.

"Uh..." said Remus.

"Erm," supplied Fred.

Snape was dragged, kicking and scowling, back into his lifeless body.

And then everything went black.

oOoOoOo

The feeling of a warm, wet mouth and an eager tongue teasing his prick was enough to force his stiff eyelids open, just as a grunt of pleasure forced stale air out of lungs that had not been used in a hell of a long time. After a moment of incredible disorientation, Snape realized that he was back in his body in the Hall of Heroes, and if the pounding heart in his chest was anything to go by, he was very much alive.

Apparently his revival had gone unnoticed by Harry, who was still on his knees sucking Snape's prick like a Knockturn Alley rentboy.

Despite the fact that the young man's excellent cocksucking may have been responsible for Snape's reunion with his corporeal form, Harry had taken certain liberties with Snape's person and had never even deigned to ask his consent.

Surely, Snape would be remiss to allow Potter to go unpunished.

"Mr. Potter." He let the words hang in the air, noting with smugness the very second the boy froze.

With his lips still wrapped around his professor's cock, Harry slowly looked up through his fringe, fear and bewilderment in his startlingly green eyes. His lower jaw dropped, as he managed to squeak out a confounded, "Buh..?"

Snape scowled and grabbed the back of Harry's head roughly, preventing him from freeing himself from the cock that was now nearly lodged down his throat.

"What the devil do you think you're doing, Potter, molesting a dead man? For Merlin's sake, even in _death_ I can't rid myself of you! I didn't tell you to stop-" he added, bringing another hand up to the back of Potter's head so he could fuck the slack mouth thoroughly.

Coughing and sputtering, Harry tried desperately to pull away, but Snape proved to be surprisingly strong for someone who had been locked in a tomb for an extended period of time. Sneering, he hauled Harry's head backwards, allowing him the smallest moment of respite.

"You... you're-" Harry gasped, reaching up to wipe saliva from his face.

"Very much alive, so it would seem, Potter. An excellent observation. Now take off your clothes."

"Wha-?"

"Your clothes, Potter, the garments that are currently on your person. Remove them. Now."

Still in shock, Harry's trembling hands reached for the zip on the front of his hoodie.

Exasperated, he hauled the boy up to a standing position and swiftly freed him from his vestments, accomplishing in seconds what would have surely taken the bumbling fool the better part of an hour at the rate he was going.

"Now, Potter, I have no idea how I came to be reunited with my body, and certainly don't know what possessed you to fellate a corpse, but as it would happen, I am alive and in an uncomfortable state of arousal which is entirely your fault. It is time for you to pay penance for your deeds."

Grasping the young man's naked flesh roughly, he drew the warm body into a searing kiss. Harry was fully erect, and Snape ground into him eagerly, causing both of their bellies to become slick with precome.

Snape wondered briefly if Fred and his lupine companion were still watching. He certainly hoped so because he was about to sodomize the Saviour to within an inch of his life, and it would be a shame for such a feat to go unnoticed.

Kissing Harry until the boy had lost use of his faculties, Snape hissed into Harry's ear, "On your knees, so I can fuck you."

"But-"

Once more refusing to allow Harry to finish a sentence, Snape shoved him to the ground, noting with delight that Harry automatically fell with his legs spread invitingly.

"Trollop," he murmured appreciatively, as he fell to his knees behind Harry and reached around to fondle the young man's dripping erection.

"Wait, Snape, I have to.. unnghh." Harry moaned in ecstasy as the long, slender fingers pumped him mercilessly, and it was only moments before he was brought off with a shuddering scream.

"Thank-you, Potter," Snape growled, smearing his spunk-covered fingers over his own erection. "I needed that."

Without warning, he pushed his slick fingers into Harry's arse, roughly, causing his face to make contact with the smooth, marble floor, his scream a combination of lust and discomfort. After not nearly enough preparation, Snape withdrew his fingers and pressed the head of his cock against the still-tight entrance and hesitated only a moment before forcing his way inside.

Harry's cry barely penetrated the din of blood pounding in Snape's ears. All he could focus on was the sound of his abdomen crashing against Harry's arse, or the swish of fabric rubbing against Harry's bare back. He thrust roughly, feeling the virgin muscle relent and accept him as he pounded him like the Whomping Willow with a grudge to settle.

"Snape!" Harry gasped, turning his head so his cheek was pressed to the cool floor. "Will you just let me-"

"No," Snape grunted in reply, not even bothering to hear Harry out.

The smack of skin-on-skin grew louder as both men grew slick with sweat. Snape's thrusts lost their rhythm, suddenly spiralling into an erratic and frantic pace. He dug his fingers into Harry's hips, surely hard enough to bruise the tender flesh, and with one last, jerking spasm and guttural cry, blew his load deep in Harry's arse.

Smacking the pert posterior roughly, but affectionately, Snape withdrew his cock, then righted himself and began to straighten his clothing. Smoothing his hair a final time, he gave a curt nod and strode towards the exit of the Hall that had been his tomb for such a very long time.

Harry looked up from where he lay sprawled on the floor, stunned, sweat-covered and reeking of ejaculate. "Snape, please! Where are you going?" he begged, scrambling to get on his feet.

With little more than a look over his shoulder, Snape climbed the stairs to the exit and replied, "To tell those fool Order members that it's insufferably rude to bury a man before he's good and dead!" He stood before the large oak doors and pushed them open, spilling sunlight onto his triumphant visage, oblivious to Harry's last words.

"We just found out, you git! Why the hell do you think I'm here? Did you seriously think I'm mental enough to suck off a dead man? Merlin, you've gone right 'round the twist!"

oOoOoOo

"Blimey, that was hot," gasped Fred, releasing his spent cock from the death grip it had been in.

From his place across the sofa, Remus nodded slowly. "You're telling me. Show of the century, that."

The both watched as Snape made to exit the Hall, leaving a perplexed and well-fucked Harry in his wake.

"D'ya think he forgot we were here, Remus?"

The wolf squinted his eyes and stared at the retreating man who had been their companion in death for so long. With a laugh, he waved as Snape took one quick look over his shoulder and smirked in precisely their direction.

"Not on your life, Fred."


End file.
